4 words: hood of his car
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
