Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
