why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
