piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
