If that was your dad, he is hot
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
