your room smells of hookers.
And success
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
