apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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