It's like God shit irony all over that family
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
