ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Randomize
