I'm jealous of your bromance
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
