Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
