threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize