This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
