Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
