The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
