I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
