Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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