I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
