Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
