But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
