She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
