oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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