So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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