This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
