didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
