you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
