i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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