Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
