Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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