Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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