i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
