I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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