i can't believe i had my finger in that
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
