There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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