Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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