You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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