I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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