It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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