I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
