Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
