My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
