she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
