And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
