Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
