she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The air was thick with penises
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
