Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
