so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
