rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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