i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
