So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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